Be A Hero for Yourself

What will your reaction be if someone tell you off? What will you do if a colleague make a bad remark on your work or make you look inferior by pointing out of your mistakes? Or simply being sarcastic and giving you a patronizing look? A proverb says that silent is golden but in this case, it simply doesn't work. Sometimes there is a reason why we have a voice. Speak up. We need to be heard.

As someone who brought up in Javanese culture, I had never learnt to stand up for myself. If I try to challenge my parents or teachers for their opinion, I will be regarded as 'ungrateful' or 'disrespectful'. Moreover, I am not a loud person who is confident enough to say that I was right and you were wrong. So my reaction was stunned, trying so hard not to break in tears, biting my lips and holding myself so tight that I wouldn't fall apart. I felt so pitiful and pathetic that I would rather be sent to another planet than scratch for my dignity on earth.

Basically, we are never encouraged to fight back. In soap operas, 'a maid in distress' will be saved by the hero. No wonder if we don't even bother to try. We just wait until somebody come to save our arse. But how if the hero comes late? How if we wait for so long and there is no Patrick Swayze comes and says, "Nobody put Baby in the corner"? I think it's just the time to be a hero for ourselves.

Good news is that we have everything we need to face the world. We all somehow posses 'superpower' that only shows up when we stop hiding and start struggling. It is not about being a strong or powerful person, it is merely of being fair to ourselves. Nobody deserves to be treated unequally and there's no reason whatsoever to be rude to someone. In short, if someone shout at you, shout back. Don't think too much or you will loose your chance. In the world where freedom of speech is the main issue, people tend to show their attitude without thinking of anybody else. So we have no choice but to express ourselves too, to stand up and speak up. We have to learn how to be firm, but at the same time to be polite and civilised. It is quite a tricky business when we have to deal with someone who is completely annoying but also know how to behave and how to be 'politically correct'. In this case, we have to be a bit sneaky. Try to insult in respectable manner. At this point I start learning a state-of-the-art form of language: sarcasm.

Does it mean that we are not nice persons? In my point of view, being nice isn't about being weak or being insincere. There are times when all we need is just to be nasty because they deserve it. It doesn't mean we like to argue either. It is just about being assertive. Because if we don't save our own arse, nobody will.

You are a child of the universe,
no less than the trees and the stars;
you have a right to be here.
And whether or not it is clear to you,
no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should. -DESIDERATA-