Monday, November 24, 2008

Be A Hero for Yourself


What will your reaction be if someone tell you off? What will you do if a colleague make a bad remark on your work or make you look inferior by pointing out of your mistakes? Or simply being sarcastic and giving you a patronizing look? A proverb says that silent is golden but in this case, it simply doesn't work. Sometimes there is a reason why we have a voice. Speak up. We need to be heard.

As someone who brought up in Javanese culture, I had never learnt to stand up for myself. If I try to challenge my parents or teachers for their opinion, I will be regarded as 'ungrateful' or 'disrespectful'. Moreover, I am not a loud person who is confident enough to say that I was right and you were wrong. So my reaction was stunned, trying so hard not to break in tears, biting my lips and holding myself so tight that I wouldn't fall apart. I felt so pitiful and pathetic that I would rather be sent to another planet than scratch for my dignity on earth.

Basically, we are never encouraged to fight back. In soap operas, 'a maid in distress' will be saved by the hero. No wonder if we don't even bother to try. We just wait until somebody come to save our arse. But how if the hero comes late? How if we wait for so long and there is no Patrick Swayze comes and says, "Nobody put Baby in the corner"? I think it's just the time to be a hero for ourselves.

Good news is that we have everything we need to face the world. We all somehow posses 'superpower' that only shows up when we stop hiding and start struggling. It is not about being a strong or powerful person, it is merely of being fair to ourselves. Nobody deserves to be treated unequally and there's no reason whatsoever to be rude to someone. In short, if someone shout at you, shout back. Don't think too much or you will loose your chance. In the world where freedom of speech is the main issue, people tend to show their attitude without thinking of anybody else. So we have no choice but to express ourselves too, to stand up and speak up. We have to learn how to be firm, but at the same time to be polite and civilised. It is quite a tricky business when we have to deal with someone who is completely annoying but also know how to behave and how to be 'politically correct'. In this case, we have to be a bit sneaky. Try to insult in respectable manner. At this point I start learning a state-of-the-art form of language: sarcasm.

Does it mean that we are not nice persons? In my point of view, being nice isn't about being weak or being insincere. There are times when all we need is just to be nasty because they deserve it. It doesn't mean we like to argue either. It is just about being assertive. Because if we don't save our own arse, nobody will.

You are a child of the universe,
no less than the trees and the stars;
you have a right to be here.
And whether or not it is clear to you,
no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should. -DESIDERATA-

5 comments:

Sri Riyati Sugiarto & Kristina Melani Budiman said...

Sebelumnya nyuwun pangapunten karena bikin blog pake primbonnya mbah jambrong. Ini atas permintaan Kristina. Lagian aku juga kadang2 pingin curhat....

kristina said...

i like this article because you talk about girl power. we need to be hero for ourselves because our life in this world is not like fairy tale. in fairy tale there always be a prince with white horse who will save us from an evil witch. but...in the real world we must survive by ourselves. like me...i had an experience about "aqua galon". i f i couldn't lift it by myself so i couldn't drink and i will be death because of dehidration...hahah..joko sembung.

yang mo aku bilang...kita emang harus bisa membela diri sendiri. jangan kaya tipe nonik2 (sudah aku sebutin di artikel sebelum2nya) yang menunggu ada yang membela dia. aku juga dulu ga berani membela diri kalo disalahkan or disudutkan tapi sekarang aku berusaha sebelum orang lain menyudutkan kita, lebih baek kita yang menyudutkan mereka...(lho?).

Sri Riyati Sugiarto & Kristina Melani Budiman said...

makasih Kris. Tapi ini bukan cuman ttg girl power. Siapapun harus bisa mempertahankan diri di lingkungan yang tidak selamanya ramah dan murah meriah. Jangan berharap ditolong. Berusahalah sendiri dulu, nobody says it will be easy, but it will be extremely rewarding. People say something that doesn't kill you makes you stronger (bnr gak, mbah Jambrong?)

kristina said...

hahaha..iyo bener...tapi kalimatmu kuwi mengutip kata2ne alex karev di greys anatomy yo...opo harry potter?

Sri Riyati Sugiarto & Kristina Melani Budiman said...

mboh yo, ketoke kuwi peribahasa jadul trus alex karev sing ngutip. Hehe...PeDe yo?

Jam

Sejujurnya, inilah Ria dan Kristina...

Ria dan Kristina, sama-sama punya ide-ide yang nggak masuk akal saking nggak bangetnya pikiran kami berdua. Obrolan kami ini, berkat kemajuan jaman dan menjamurnya aplikasi internet (hiduplah Indonesia Raya!), kami sekarang bisa tuangkan di blog. Dulu kami suka ngetik-ngetik pake mesin ketik manual di belakang kertas HVS A4 bekas fotokopian. Tapi tetep aja kami tidak berhenti menulis. Kata pepatah: setipis-tipisnya tinta masih lebih tajam dari ingatan manusia. Kata Pramoedya: menulis berarti memetakan sejarah. Halah, kalo tulisan kita mah sebenernya gak ada hubungannya ama sejarah. Cuma mengukirkan betapa masa muda kami ini sangat indah. Dan jelas nggak mutu isinya. Jadi, mending kalo sisa-sisa waktu dan pengen baca yang tidak terlalu berguna sajalah baru buka blog kami... Tapi apapun komentar, masukan dan pendapat teman-teman, semuanya adalah cendera mata yang indah buat kami...

Ria dan Kristina (hualah, koyok undangan penganten. Amit2 deh. Lesbong juga pilih-pilih ah...)

About Us

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pindah2..tergantung mood, Indonesia
Sri Riyati Sugiarto (aka Ria) adalah cewek kelahiran limpung..(pinggiran kota Pekalongan)..habis sekolah di SMU St. Bernardus Pekalongan trus kuliah kedokteran di Undip Semarang..sementara Kristina Melani Budiman (aka Kristina) juga lahir di Pekalongan trus satu SMU ama Ria dan kuliah di Atma Jaya Jogjakarta. kami kenal di kelas 3 SMU tapi mo duduk bareng selalu ga bisa gara2 terlalu cerewet dan kalo duduk sebangku selalu bikin keributan karena hobinya menggosip jadi terpaksa sampai sekarang tidak pernah duduk bareng..untungnya kita ga satu kampus :p